


The Game

by Boketoe (orphan_account)



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Car Accidents, Hinata Shouyou is Sunshine, Hinata Shouyou is a Good Friend, How Do I Tag, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Kozume Kenma Needs a Hug, Kozume Kenma is Bad at Feelings, Kuroo Tetsurou is a Good Friend, M/M, Sad Kozume Kenma, Sad with a Happy Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-13
Updated: 2020-09-13
Packaged: 2021-03-06 17:00:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,747
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26452237
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/Boketoe
Summary: “Hey, Kenma!”“What now, Kuro?”“You remember when we first met? And I thought you were a girl?”“Yeah, you even said I was cute and wanted to marry me when we were older. Why?”“I don’t know. I just suddenly remembered.”
Relationships: Kozume Kenma & Kuroo Tetsurou, Kozume Kenma/Kuroo Tetsurou, Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Comments: 3
Kudos: 37





	The Game

**Author's Note:**

> ALL CHARACTERS ARE AGED UP!  
> sorry this is bad-  
> AND CREDIT TO MY FRIEND FOR COMING UP WITH THE NAME OF THIS FIC

Kenma hated himself right now. He hated the noise. He hated the people. He hated everything. All in this one moment. God damn Kuroo begged the poor gamer to come to a club with him to see if they could find themselves a date. So now here he was, Kenma Kozume, sitting at a bar, trying to make sure his friend doesn’t get drunk while trying to find a girlfriend.

The music was so loud, too loud. The voices were keeping the voice of a certain black-haired male from reaching to his pudding head friend. It hurt; it gave Kenma a headache. It was too much. Too overwhelming.

Kenma stood up from the bar stool he was sitting it, Kuroo letting out a whine as he now clung to his friends’ arm. “Kenma!! Don’t go!” The black-haired male groaned, fake crying as his gripped tightened around his poor, poor friends’ arm. “I’m not leaving, I just need some air.” Kenma said softly, hoping his friend heard him through the music and voices surrounding them.

“But why?” Kuroo pouted, “I want you to stay here!” he then said, his pout never leaving his face, Kenma sighed, Kuroo was drunk, already. And he didn’t notice. “I’ll be right back, when I come back, I’m taking you back home before I have to carry you to the car.”

“Fine!!” Kuroo finally let go of his friend, crossing his arms over his chest as he watched Kenma walk out the club.

10 minutes passed, and Kenma finally walked back in to see his friend almost passed out on a barstool. He let out a quiet groan, walking over to his drunk friend. He tapped the black-haired male’s shoulder to see if he was still somewhat awake.

“Kuro, lets go home now.” Kenma said, hoping his friend was able to at least walk. He could never carry the guy. He was just far too heavy for him. He didn’t get a response, only a drunk giggle. Kenma sighed, bending down a bit so he could put Kuroo’s arm around his shoulder and try to at least drag him to the car.

Once he had done so, Kuroo got the hint and stood up tiredly, his eyes half closed as he almost fell over. Kenma made sure he didn’t as he help his drunk friend out the club. Once the drunk male was in the passenger seat of the small black car him and Kenma shared, the other male sat in the driver’s seat.

“Kenma” Kuroo groaned, lazily strapping his seatbelt. “Shut up.” Was all Kenma replied with. He was not in the mood for more whining. The pudding head started the car after fastening his seatbelt. Kuroo reached over and turned on the radio, tiredly singing along to whatever song that was playing.

Kenma just shook his head at his friends’ actions and started to drive out the parking lot that belonged to the club. He wished that this day would end. He wished that he could just sleep already. Maybe play with his cat, Bubble. He was also… jealous. He wished that he could just tell his friend how he felt so he maybe wouldn’t hit on girls all the time. Poor Kenma knew about his feelings for his best friends since high school. He just never told him. He was scared. Scared that he’d ruin they’re friendship. Scared he was going to be alone.

Kenma wanted to tell his friend so badly, but his fear wouldn’t let him. He had talked to Shouyo about it. And for some help. Shouyo didn’t really know how to help his friend.

Suddenly, some of Shouyo’s words popped up in Kenma’s head.

  
_“Just let your heart out, be brave. Push away your fears. And tell Kuroo how you feel, then soon enough, you’ll be happy with him!” The orange haired boy said, hoping that he was helping Kenma, somehow._

_“But what if he doesn’t feel the same? What if my feelings ruin our whole friendship?” Kenma said, looking down at his lap as he held his phone closer to his ear, listening to the others response. “Just believe in yourself! Forget about that! Just think positive!” Shouyo replied, his cheerful tone ringing through the other male’s brain._

_“But what if- “_

_“Kenma, just stop… look, if you want to be with him. Just stop worrying. Stop panicking. If Kuroo breaks your heart I will personally hunt him down and beat the living shit out of him.” Shouyo cut his friend off. Kenma knew that the other only ever used swear words when he was serious._

_“BOKE HINATA BOKE, GET IN HERE-!” Another voice was heard through Shouyo’s side, Tobio. “I’LL BE THERE IN MINUTE, BAKAYAMA!” Shouyo yelled to the other male on his side of the call._

_“Oh, well… thank you, Shouyo. It seems you have to go anyways, so bye. I’ll try to tell Kuro, I promise.” Kenma replied with a small sigh. “Okay, Kenma! Bye-Bye!” and that’s when the call ended, leaving Kenma with a mountain of thoughts._   
  


Kenma snapped out of his thoughts when he heard a voice. “Kenma are we home yet?” Kuroo groaned like a child, looking over at the other as he stopped at a red light.

“Just shut up, almost.” Kenma said, keeping his eyes on the red light. Kuroo let out another groan, pouting as he looked out the window, leaning his head against it.

The light turned green and Kenma started driving again. Kuroo now sadly sidling along to another song on the radio. Suddenly, everything turned black…

* * *

When Kenma opened his eyes, he saw a heart monitor. He saw a nurse in front of him. He smelled medicine. He was confused. What happened? Why was he in a hospital? Where’s Kuroo? Was he okay? Was Kuroo okay?

He opened his mouth to say something, but the nurse spoke before him. “Your awake!” the female nurse smiled. “How are you feeling?” she then asked. Kenma couldn’t process his thoughts. He didn’t know if he was okay. He didn’t know how he was feeling. He couldn’t feel his whole body. He didn’t know why. What was going on?

“I’m… feeling okay…” was all he relied with. He didn’t know what to say. His mind and heart were racing. He wanted to know what happened. Why he was in a hospital. Where Kuroo was. And if Kuroo was okay.

“That’s good! You have some visitors waiting to see you if you want me to let them in!” The nurse was cheerful, too cheerful. The nurse was hiding something. She had to be. Either that or she’s like Shouyo, literally cheerful all the time. The male just nodded in response; he could just ask whoever was visiting him what happened.

The nurse gave him a smile and walked out the room, and instead of her coming in a couple minutes later. It was his old volleyball teammates from high school. He was rather shocked to see Shouyo and Sugawara. And about half of his old team. They all looked… sad. Shouyo’s eyes were all red and puffy, along with a couple other people.

“Kenma! Your okay!” Shouyo cheered, running up to the hospital bed Kenma was currently laying on. Shouyo hugged the other, but not too tight. Kenma hugged back. Then, everyone else started to join the hug. Kenma was still so confused. He just wanted to know what the fuck had happened. After a moment the group hug broke.

“I’m glad to see you all but…what happened? I literally have no idea what’s going on…And where’s Kuro?” Kenma asked. Everyone in the room froze. “You… Don’t have any idea what happened?” Lev asked, shocked.

“All I remember is driving back to me a Kuro’s place, then everything turned black and I couldn’t see…” They all were even more shocked. Shouyo even started to tear up. Kenma looked at all of them, still so confused.

“You guys got into a car accident…” Yaku stated, looking down, not wanting to say anything else. They all looked at him with slight concern before looking back at Kenma. His eyes widened, how did that happen? He had his eyes on the road, it was a green light. How…

“But… Where’s Kuro?” Kenma asked, almost regretting asking for some reason.

“Kuroo…K-Kuroo Died…” Shouyo mumbled, Suga rubbing his shoulder as he looked down. Everyone except Lev, Shouyo and Suga left the room, not wanting to be in there any longer. They didn’t want to see the look on Kenma’s face.

Kenma froze. Kuroo couldn’t be dead. He has to be alive. Tears threatened to leave his eyes.

“No…He can’t be… But…”

“Kenma, Kuroo’s _dead_ … I’m sorry…”

In that moment, time stopped. Kenma couldn't believe what he heard. Kuroo can't be dead. He can't. The pudding head didn't even have a chance to tell Kuroo how he felt...

He stayed silent. He wanted to say something, anything. “I’ll just go, Kuroo’s parents are here if you want to talk to them, Kenma…” Suga said with a sad smile before letting out a sigh and leaving the room. Shouyo and Lev glanced at each other.

Kenma was still frozen. He didn’t even have a chance to say goodbye. He didn’t get to say “I love you” to him. He didn’t get to hug him for the last time. He didn’t get to do anything. The tears started pouring down his face. He hid his face in his palms, letting out chocked and quiet sobs. He wanted this to be a dream. He wanted to wake up already. Why wouldn’t he just wake up. He’d wake up soon, he knew it. This all was just some nightmare. When he wakes up. He’ll see the smiling face of his best friend. When he wakes up, He’ll hear the loud and cheerful laughter of his best friend. If he wakes up. If this is a dream. He hoped it was. He wished it was.

“Kenma….!” He recognized that voice, it was his mother. She had just entered the room. Lev and Shouyo looked at her. He didn’t look up, just kept sobbing into his hands. His mom looked at him with so much worry. She knew what happened to his friend. She could only imagine what he was feeling right now. It was silent for a minute, just the sounds of Kenma crying filled the room.

His mother went closer to the bed, sitting in the chair next to it. She had moved the chair as close to the bed as possible before wrapping her arms around her son. He continued to cry, now clutching onto his mom like he did when he was little. He didn’t care right now. He just let the tears fall. He wanted Kuroo. He wanted to tell him sorry for all the times he was rude to him. He wanted to hug him, hold him close. He just wanted to see him smile. He wanted to hear his laughter. He wanted him. Every part of him. He loved him, but he never had the chance to say he did.

Three whole days passed. And Kenma never left his house once. Instead of sleeping in his room, he slept in Kuroo’s. He stopped doing his live streams. He probably will never do those again. He just stayed in his roommates/best friends’ room. Only leaving once a day to get something to eat and go to the bathroom, and to feed his cat. He never checked his phone. He didn’t even touch his gaming console. Bubble, his cat. Would stay with him and follow him everywhere. At least he wasn’t completely alone.

The cat was always rubbing against Kenma, licking him, or something. The creature just wanted to help her owner. Kenma liked the cat’s company. But it didn’t help his mental state. He was constantly crying, clutching onto one of the pillows on Kuroo’s bed.

He blamed himself for Kuroo’s death. Maybe if he had payed attention to the road a little better. maybe if he had made Kuroo stay home. Then maybe he would still be alive. Then maybe Kenma would be able to confess his love. But that was never going to happen.

Shouyo was so, _so_ worried for Kenma. He hadn’t of been answering any of his calls or message. Shouyo wanted t check on him, see if he was alright. But he didn’t want to intrude. He didn’t want to be a bother. So, he waited, for a reply, a call, anything.

“Sho, Are you ok?” Tobio asked, looking at his boyfriend from across the table. Shouyo perked up, showing a small smile as he looked at the other male. “Yep! Just worried…”

“Oh, I’m guessing your worried about Kenma…” Tobio replied, Shouyo giving a small nod in response. “I want to check on him… he hasn’t spoke to anyone… since, you know.” Shouyo sighed, looking down at the half-eaten food in front of him. Tobio was also worried. But he knew that Kenma just needed time.

Another week, and Kenma still hasn’t left. He still had plenty of food. And cat food. But everyone was worried about him. He ignored the constant buzzing of his phone. He deleted almost all his social media.

Then another week. And out of boredom. He grabbed his phone, and downloaded an app. It had been floating around his recommended for a while. He didn’t know anything about it. But he was bored and needed a distraction. He curled up under the blanket on Kuroo’s bed, watching as he opened the app. Bubble sitting under the blanket with him, purring.

He was confused and shocked when the app asked for his name. He put it in, not thinking too much about it. Next up, he had to design a character for himself. He did so, not wanting it to be too special, so he made it look like him as much as possible.

The next step was also simple, design a character t be his partner. But to Kenma, it was like rocket science. But… in the end. The character ended up looking almost exactly like Kuroo. He didn’t mean for it to. But it just ended up that way. Still not thinking too much about it, he named the character “Kuro.”

The game was fun, to say the least. He enjoyed it, he liked the fighting, controls and almost everything else about the game. He didn’t even realize he had to go to the store soon. His fridge was almost empty, and bubble needed more cat litter and food.

Two days pass. And Kenma gets a knock on his door. Not wanting to be rude. He got up, made himself look presentable and answered it. He saw Shouyo and was confused. “Shouyo? Why are you here?”

“You haven’t talked to anyone in weeks… we’re worried. So, I decided to check up on you! I have Pork buns!” The orange haired male gigged, holding a paper bag with one meat buns in it. “I also got you an apple pie! Because I know how much you like them!” He smiled, holding up another bag that smelled good.

“Oh, well… come in I guess then…” Kenma muttered, letting his orange haired friend into his home. Kenma didn’t know how to feel right now. He got why everyone was worried but… he’s a grown man. He can take care of himself. He can help himself.

“Why haven’t you talked to anyone…? You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to!” Shouyo said, rather nervous as he placed the two bags of food on the kitchen table. Kenma just watched him before looking down. Why did he ignore everyone? Why is he never leaving the house? Did he really miss Kuroo… that much?

“Um, Well let’s just eat…” Shouyo said with an awkward smile. Kenma nodded and grabbed two plates, two forks and a knife.

Around 15 minutes pass, Kenma and Shouyo were just sitting at the table eating the pie. Shouyo wanted to start a conversation. But didn’t know what to say. “Are you going to be going to Kuro’s funeral?” Kenma suddenly asked, just wanting to know. The funeral was next week, and Kenma didn’t know if he wanted to go or not. Shouyo perked up at him, taking another bite of his slice of pie.

“Probably, are you going? Because I feel like you should, everyone wants to know how your holding up, even Kuroo’s parents,” The boy started. “Nastu is coming with me, she wants to say a small goodbye to him. And she misses you, she hasn’t seen you in so long… And she misses your livestreams.” Shouyo sighed, eating more of his pie.

“I… I guess I’ll go. And tell Nastu that I’m not going to be doing livestreams for a while.” Kenma said softly, not looking at his friend. He wanted to do his livestreams again, play games for his fans, but it was never going to be the same. That might have been how he made money, but he just couldn’t. Before the accident, his livestreams always had Kuroo’s loud laughter the background. Kenma smiled a little bit at the memories, sad that it would never be like that again.

Some time passed and soon enough Shouyo had to go back home. Kenma realized just how much he missed his friends. He had even more regret. He hated himself. For many reasons.

Later that day, Kenma went back to his game. He smiled when the Kuroo like character popped up. It made him feel not so lonely. Like Kuroo was still there with him. He watched as the character ran around the screen, interacting with the character that looked like him. It made him happy.

He stayed up all night that night, leveling up, fighting beasts, and making the friendship between the two characters stronger. He passed out at 4am. And ended up waking up at 1pm to Bubble meowing at him. His phone had died.

He sighed, getting out of the bed that used to be his best friends. He knew he had nothing to do that day. No one to talk to. He has never been this lonely. He has never been this bored. It was like half of him was missing now that Kuroo was gone. It was like his heart wasn’t even beating. He was not motivated to do anything. He didn’t even want to exist. It hurt so much. He felt as if he didn’t have a purpose on this earth anymore. Kuroo gave him hope, Kuroo gave him happiness, Kuroo gave him light, Kuroo gave him a purpose. But there was no more hope, no more happiness, no more light, and no purpose.

“What did I do to deserve this…” The male mumbled quietly, hiding his face in his hands. “Why… Just why… WHY DID HE HAVE TO DIE?!” He shouted, standing up and clenching his fists. He was about to leave the room, but just banged his fists on the door. “WHY?! WHY! WHAT DID I DO?!” he kept screaming in sadness. He soon started to sob, the tears started coming and wouldn’t stop. He fell to his knees, letting out a sob as he rested his forehead against the door, his fists still clenched.

He never snapped like that. He never acted like that. So why now? Was he really that depressed now? He couldn’t go on like this. He hurt to much. He missed him. He wanted him. But he was never going to have him. Why did his life had to turn out like this? Why couldn’t he just have him?

He stayed on the floor, crying his heart out until he couldn’t cry anymore. By the time he was done, it was 3pm. He stood up and left the room, letting out a sniff as he walked to the bathroom. He needed a shower. He needed to wash off some of his sadness. Sure, he knew that a shower wasn’t going to do much. But he really needed it after snapping like that. He was glad no one was there to see him like that.

He stripped out of his clothes -- no, Kuroo’s clothes – and made sure the water was the right temperature before entering. Goosebumps appearing all over him when the water touched his skin. He relaxed under the water. He still wanted to scream, he still wanted to cry. But he couldn’t. He wasn’t.

  
After he was done with his shower, which only lasted 7 minutes. But felt like hours. He changed back into the exact clothes he was wearing before. He kept his head down. He didn’t want to look up. There was no point. There was no point in trying.

Instead of going back into his best friends’ room, he laid on the couch. He hugged the pillow that was on it, started to cry into it. He remembered about the funeral; he didn’t want to go. That would be too much for him. It’d hurt way too much. But he had to. He couldn’t make everyone worry for him even more. No matter how much it hurt, he had to.

* * *

  
_“Hey, Kenma!”_

_“What now, Kuro?”_

_“You remember when we first met? And I thought you were a girl?”_

_“Yeah, you even said I was cute and wanted to marry me when we were older. Why?”_

_“I don’t know. I just suddenly remembered.”_

* * *

_“Kenma!!”_

_“Shut up.”_

_“But come on, Kitten, you didn’t even know what I was going to say!”_

_“But I do know it’s going to be stupid.”_

_“Hey! Cats in dog costumes aren’t stupid!”_

_“Yes, they are.”_

* * *

  
_“Hey, Kenma?”_

_“Yeah Kuro?”_

_“I love you; you know…”_

_“What?”_

_“As a friend of course! You’re my best friend! I almost see you as a brother!”_

_“Oh, then… I love you too.”_

_“Yay!”_

* * *

  
_“Kuro.”_

_“Yeah?”_

_“What would you do if I died?”_

_“Die.”_

_“What? What do you mean?”_

_“Kenma, I don’t know why you’d ask me that. If you died, I wouldn’t have anyone. You are my whole entire world. I wouldn’t be able to live without you; Sure, you are rude to me. But your still my friend. I trust you with my life, I trust you with everything I got.”_

* * *

Flashbacks of conversations with his best friend flashed in his head. Only making him cry more. He missed him so much. He missed the idiotic things his friend did, he missed his laugh, he missed his smile, he missed everything. Why couldn’t he have that back?

The day of the funeral came. And Kenma wasn’t prepared mentally. He couldn’t take it. It was too much.

He was wearing the suit that Kuroo bought for him when they had to go to a relative of Kuroo’s wedding. His hair was tied back in a bun. And right now, he was waiting for Shouyo to pick him up. Because his car was destroyed in the accident. He was seriously not ready. His heart hurt just thinking about looking at the coffin his friend was in. He wanted to cry so much right now. But he wasn’t going to, yet at least.

He heard a honk from outside, indicating that Shouyo was here. He walked out his home, locking the door behind him. He saw the car of his orange haired friend and slowly walked towards it, seeing Nastu in the back seat.

Shouyo gave him a small smile as Kenma now sat in the passenger seat. “Kenma!” Nastu waved to the male from the back, Kenma turned his head and looked at the girl. “Hey, Nastu.” He said before looking back at Shouyo.

“You okay?” Shouyo asked his friend with worry, seeing the bags under his eyes. Kenma nodded in response, looking out the window as his friend started driving. Shouyo knew the other wasn’t okay. He hasn’t been the same. He doesn’t even smile anymore. I mean, why would he? Especially today?

“Sho-Chan can you turn on the radio?” Nastu asked her older brother, who nodded as he turned the radio on. Nastu smiled at him and started humming along to the music.

The drive felt like hours. Kenma was trying to prepare himself. He knew who was going to be there, and what was going to happen. He didn’t want anything to happen. He still wanted this to be a nightmare. He still wanted to wake up. So, he could see Kuroo, feel Kuroo, hear Kuroo. Not see his coffin.

More time passed, and Kenma didn’t remember being in front of Kuroo’ Dad. Was he not paying attention to anything? Did time pass that fast? He looked so sad, sadder than him. He gave him weak smiles. “Hey, Kenma. Long time no see.” Kuroo’s father said.

“Yes, it has been a long time…” Kenma replied softly, not making eye contact. “We have to go speak to some others, Here, Kuroo wanted you to have this… he gave it to us while he was in the hospital.” The male handed Kenma an envelope. He looked at it, confused. “Oh, alright. It was nice seeing you again.”

Kuroo’s dad just gave him another weak smile before walking away to go speak to other people who came. Kenma kept looking at the envelope, not knowing if he should open it now or later. He was scared. He didn’t know what it was. His heart was racing again. Suddenly, it was like everyone in the huge room disappeared. And only he was there. It was like the whole room turned white. The floor, the walls, the ceiling. Everything.

This had to be a dream. Either that or he was going crazy. He felt as if he was in a movie. It was weird. Is it bad that he liked it? He felt safe. He didn’t know why. His head couldn’t keep up with what was going on around him. His heart was going to jump out his chest. He looked down at the envelope in his hands, opening it. There was a paper on the inside. He took it out and unfolded it.

  
**_To_ _Kenma Kozume, my best friend._ **

**_I’m sorry I had to leave you. I’m sorry I can’t be there for you. The doctors couldn’t save me. But they saved you. And I’m glad for that. I don’t know if your reading this, but I hope you are. You know how bad I am at writing this kind of stuff. But I tried. I just want you to know…_ **

  
**_I love you, Kenma. I’ve always had. I meant it when I said you were cute when we first met. And I also meant it when I said I wanted to marry you. I know you took it as a joke, and I don’t blame you. I know I was always on the hunt for a girlfriend, but I really had my eyes on you. I was just scared. You were my world, and I didn’t want to lose it, I didn’t want to lose you. I hope you understand._ **

  
**_You were always there for me, and I was there for you. We had each other backs. In volleyball, school, work, in life. Please don’t be sad. I want you to smile. Follow your dreams, there’s people who care for you, don’t forget that. Keep playing those games, keep smiling, keep living your life. I don’t want you to be alone forever, so maybe find yourself a girlfriend, or boyfriend._ **

  
**_I love you, don’t forget that either. Again, I’m sorry I had to leave you._ **

**_Sincerely, Tetsurō Kuroo_ **

**_P.s, tell bubble I said Hi and pet ‘em for me_ **   
  


Tears. Happiness. Sadness. Anger. Regret. What was Kenma feeling? What was going on?

Time stopped. He couldn’t breath for a moment. He couldn’t move. Kuroo loved him. ** _Kuroo loved him_**. Not as a friend.

He couldn’t believe what he had read. He couldn’t talk. He couldn’t think. It was just him. He felt as if he was floating in space, all alone. It was the good kind of alone.

He felt an arm wrap around him, another wiping his tears. It was Kuroo, he knew that it was just his imagination. It had to be. Kuroo smile softly at his friend, leaning his forehead against the others. “I love you.” When Kenma heard those words escape the other lips. He let out a sob and smiled.

“I love you too.”

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry if i made you cry...  
> And I'm also sorry this sucks, my grammar sucked while writing this.  
> And a lot of this IS NOT canon. so please dont take it seriously. 
> 
> feel free to give kudos and comment.  
> I dont accept hate or constructive criticism.  
> well, i think thats all... byebye!


End file.
